On Having a Daughter

My feelings about having a daughter basically can be summed up in one word:  "Ack!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited and happy to have her.  I'm especially excited that my household will soon have one more person who is capable of peeing inside, rather than around, a toilet.  But I feel woefully unprepared to parent her.

I think it's because I was never a girly-girl.  I grew up with two older brothers and a mother who was not into fashion or make up.  I didn't enjoy playing with dolls, but had great fun flying kites, and playing "Alligator Pit" and "Cowboys and Indians" with the boys down the street (this despite the fact that I was always pegged to be the Indian -- rude!).  As I got older, I always had one or two very good girl friends, but I felt most comfortable around boys, and even had my first crush on a boy named Dylan when I was in kindergarten.

What if my daughter is a princess??  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I've had near anxiety attacks when trying to shop for clothes for my daughter, and unless something changes soon, the poor girl is going to be diaper-clad or nekked until she can pick out her own clothes.  Girl clothes are so...frilly...and froo froo...and time consuming...and uncomfortable looking that I start shopping and then end up buying a t-shirt for Zachary.  And what about the drama?  Or is that just a sexist thought?  Because both of my boys (heck, all three of my boys, The Husband included) can bring on the drama -- could there be even more drama than that?

But much worse than the possibility of a naked child, or one who actually likes that evil Barbie, or tantrums over nothing (because really, I'm used to that by now) is the thought that karma will come and kick me in the butt when she turns into a teenager.  This, my friends, keeps me up at night.  (If my kids are reading this, mommy is only concerned about karma because there was that one time when I was a teenager when I didn't try my best and ended up with a "B" in a class.)  What if she starts liking boys early?  Like, before she's 30?  It doesn't help that she's most certainly destined to be a gorgeous teen, like the brown/white daughters of my sweet friend Robin:

Robin, you say you haven't aged well -- if that's true, THIS is probably why.

There's so much I want for my girl.  I want her to play football AND be the cheerleader.  I want her to be confident but not arrogant.  I want her not to be afraid to show off her brilliance, without "showing off" her brillance.  I want her to have friends, but never feel the need to give into peer pressure.  I want her to be motivated to succeed but willing to be silly.  I want her to be kind and giving and loving and tolerant.  I want her to respect her body.  These are things I want for all of my children; so why do I feel so much more pressure with her than with the boys to make that happen??