The last of my helpers left this weekend, and I've been essentially alone with the babies for the last three days. Even with Zachary at daycare during the day, it has been, as I expected, challenging. But I've managed to give the babies baths once, and feed them countless times, sometimes even simultaneously. Thankfully, there have been only a handful of times when two or three of us have been melting down at the same time. Still, I've been wearing the same workout pants for three days and there is dried breastmilk on the front of my shirt and crusted spit up on my shoulder. And sometimes I'm sad, and sometimes I'm lonely, and I'm almost always tired.
But a few minutes ago, I had finished feeding both babies, set one squirmy Conor in a bouncy chair, and a squirmy Samantha on my chest. She fell asleep within minutes, and I put her in her swing. I then held Conor, and he too fell asleep within minutes. And I was overflowing with love and gratitude for my children.
Things are getting better.
It is always the best when they are sleeping, huh??
ReplyDeleteOh, honey, honey. Boy does this sound like me two years ago.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my Nana left (she had been with me for three weeks after the boys were born). I took her to the airport, got in the car, drove home, carried first one baby carrier up the steps and into the house and then the other, sat down on the couch, looked at both boys asleep in the carriers and broke down sobbing.
Remember this: Having ONE newborn is hard. Having two is triply hard. :-) And you are still dealing with hormonal stuff that won't be fully gone for a few more months, likely.
When the babies are on a bit of a better schedule and your hormones have leveled out and you can sneak in a nap and a brownie in on a regular basis, things will seem a bit better.
I promise. Keep in mind, too, that you are an awesome, awesome Mom and you WILL ace this. You will.