Choosing Between Work and Family

Ever since Zachary was born, I've been blessed to be able to work from home three to four days per week.  This was a huge accommodation from my boss; there's no one else in the organization who is allowed to work my kind of schedule.  It's even more extraordinary that my boss allowed me to do this given that I am his senior attorney, so I still have to supervise more junior attorneys.  But because our staff was more experienced and didn't need daily hand holding, and because g-chat allows me to be instantly in touch with those in my office, my schedule didn't really impact anyone.

But I just got an email yesterday from my boss who has informed me that his needs have changed, and he needs a senior attorney who is in the office on a daily basis.  We're anticipating getting one to two new attorneys in the near future, and especially because he works remotely, he needs his senior person to act as his physical presence.  Therefore, he gave me the option to either come back to the office full time after my maternity leave, or take a demotion and continue to work from home in a non-supervisory capacity.

I like my job, my coworkers, and my boss, but when I go into the office, my day starts at 5 am and I'm not home until 6:30.  When I work from home, I'm in front of my computer at 9 and I'm out by around 4.  Thus, my days at home afford me an additional 6 or more hours to spend with my family.  However, taking a demotion would mean taking about a $7000 pay cut, and because of the way the government pay scale works, I would not be able to get a raise again (but if the federal pay freeze ends, I'll still be entitled to yearly cost-of-living increases).  And one of the worst parts is that taking a demotion would be career suicide.

In a way, this is a fairly easy decision.  My work does not define me. I was not one of those people who knew they wanted to be an attorney all of their lives; rather, I became one because I didn't know what else to do.  My kids, on the other hand, have filled the holes I'd been carrying my entire life.  Time with them -- although admittedly sometimes frustrating, sometimes boring, and sometimes unrewarding -- still make my life infinitely better and more meaningful.  I choose them.  Nevertheless, I'm sad that I have to make the choice.

I just need a job where I can work whenever I feel like it.  One that more than pays the bills.  Is that really too much to ask?