Thursday, May 31, 2012

Hospital Detour

On Tuesday, I had my routine appointment with my OB.  Unfortunately, my blood pressure was terribly high, and the doc said that he could not save me from a trip to the hospital.  He authorized a quick trip back home, but told me not to eat anything in case my babies needed to be delivered that day.  He said that if they were not going to be delivered immediately, they would receive steroids to develop their lungs so that they would be better equipped to experience life outside of the womb.  In response to my question about whether there was a chance that I would be able to leave without delivering the babies, he said, "Sure, if your blood pressure is normal and all tests come back fine."  Challenge accepted.

I went home, finally packed my go-bag (check!), and completely disregarded doctor's orders by having lunch.  There was, I reasoned, absolutely no way in hell that my children would be born that day.  My pressure wasn't high enough for me to stroke out, and I was certain that I didn't have preeclampsia because I still had ankles.  Yes, I believe that all other tests are unnecessary.

Surprisingly, my blood pressure at the hospital dropped considerably from the readings that I'd been having the last few days.  Still, my OB would not let me go home without more blood work, the GJOP test, the steroid shots, and some consistently low bp readings, so I was admitted to the high-risk unit.

This stay was significantly better than my last two years ago, when I had a roommate who would not stop throwing up.  This time, the ward's census was low, so I had a room to myself.  Also, instead of getting a set schedule of meals, they had a menu from which I could order whatever and however much of anything I wanted at any time.  Room service!  The worst part was that there was no internet access, which made it so I was unable to work.  But still, that meant that I had really nothing to do except stay in bed, watch tv, eat, read, sleep, and otherwise enjoy the silence.  Turns out that that combination is wonderful for the blood pressure.   For two and a half days in the hospital, my blood pressure was lower than it had been this entire pregnancy, and all tests came back essentially fine.  The possibility of an immediate delivery of my children was taken off the table. And this morning, I was released.

One factor in favor of my discharge that was repeatedly mentioned by the doctors and nurses was that my mom would be here to allow me to continue this hospital-style bedrest.  So I have to take this opportunity to say again, thank goodness for my mom.  When I was in the hospital, I did not worry that Zachary was well cared for.  And now that I'm out, I know that she'll continue to take care of him, and all of us, and the house, because she's superwoman in that way.  I am grateful.

I'm also grateful for the results of the ultrasound I had yesterday at the hospital.  The babies looked great, and at one day shy of 34 weeks, our daughter weighed 4 lbs, 11 oz, and our son weighed 5 lbs, 6 oz.  I had been so worried that my blood pressure issues would restrict their growth that I was just hoping for over 4 lbs.  On the phone with The Husband, he told me that he had also been scared that they wouldn't be over 4 lbs.  We were both overwhelmed that they had grown so well.

When speaking to my doctor this morning, I asked how large the babies needed to be to avoid NICU time.  He said that it wasn't the size, it was the age.  If they can make it to 36 weeks, there's a good chance that they'll come home with me.  So that's the new goal.  Only two more weeks.  I'm going to be a good girl.  I will no doubt whine about the incredible rib pain while lying on my side and the boredom of being confined to bed, but I will do what I have to do to keep my blood pressure low and these kids cooking until 36 weeks or later.  Let's hope it works.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Progress

On this long weekend, things got accomplished!  Woo hoo!

Here's what we can cross off of the things-to-do-asap list:
  • Pack a go-bag
  • Purchase two Rock 'n Plays (I think these will be easier to handle than your traditional bassinet)
  • Buy a carseat
  • Buy a couple of premie outfits and lots of newborn sleepers (and then do laundry)
  • Buy new nipples for our bottles and a new bottle and nipple brush
  • Buy diapers
Okay, so maybe that's not terribly impressive, but I'm confident that we have what we absolutely have to have if these babies were to come home tomorrow.  Which they're not going to even think about doing.  For the other stuff, I started a registry so that The Husband will have a list of my precise wishes.  As we gather up 20% off Babies R Us coupons, we'll tackle those items.

There was also some progress on the nursery.  This nursery is all about recycling, which is requiring a little more work than I anticipated, but the boys worked hard on it this weekend.  First, we had inherited two cribs from one of The Husband's bosses.  They are very nice, very expensive cribs that don't match in color or style; one is modern and black, the other is classic and white.  Initially, I thought we'd just pick one of the cribs and buy a matching one online, but even that is incredibly costly.  Ultimately, after I threw a minor hormone-induced bratty tantrum about not getting the nursery I envisioned, some cheap sob managed to convince me that we should make it work, and darnit, if The Husband wasn't right for one time in his life...  It's coming together beautifully.  The boys painted the white crib black to exactly match the color of the other crib.  And instead of selling our old furniture in the guest room, they painted the large double dresser black to match as well.  I was afraid of all of that black, but the dresser is back in the room and it looks great.  I haven't seen the cribs together yet, and it could still look funky, but it would be irresponsible to waste a gift like that, especially when we don't have -- and won't have any time soon -- extra money laying around.  I can't wait to show you the final product, but the rest of the furniture still needs to be cleaned out of the room, a mural needs to be sanded over, and the walls need to be painted before even a partial reveal.  But we're getting there!

In the meantime, mom arrived yesterday to take care of me before the babies arrive.  Now that she's here, I'm able to be on a more strict bedrest.  This is not how I intended to spend my last few weeks of having Zachary as my only baby, but as far as he is concerned now that Parti is here, I'm chopped liver.  Instead of just sitting with me on the couch, now he has someone to play with outshide.  And it's a bonus that she comes with cookies.  But I should be happy that he hasn't completely forgotten about his mama -- he just came stomping upstairs with more "fowers for mama!!" -- 2 dandelions he found in the garden.  Have I mentioned that I love this boy?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Pity Party is Over

So, these kids are likely coming sooner than I hoped.  I've decided to quit whining and get ready for their arrival.

A few weeks ago I posted a list of all of the things that still needed to be done.  Honestly, we've crossed off just about nothing from that to-do list.  A large part of that is because The Husband has been working a lot lately, so there hasn't been time for him to do much of it.  The other part is because I've been essentially on bedrest so the most helpful thing I've done is nag.  And that, shockingly, is not getting anything accomplished.

Here's what has to be done ASAP:
  • Pack a go-bag
  • Purchase two Rock 'n Plays (I think these will be easier to handle than your traditional bassinet)
  • Buy a carseat
  • Buy a couple of premie outfits and lots of newborn sleepers (and then do laundry)
  • Buy new nipples for our bottles and a new bottle and nipple brush
  • Buy diapers
We still need to prepare the nursery, but given that they will be sleeping in my room for awhile, I will not stress about the lack of movement in that area.

I'm going to do some of this online today.  What am I missing from the list of absolute essentials that my babies will need (keeping in mind that I have the basics from Zachary)?

Btw, we're 33 weeks along today.  Here's a picture to commemorate the moment (although I don't think it really does justice to the awesomeness of this belly):


P.S.  The results of the GJOP are in:  No preeclampsia for me yet.  My protein level is within normal limits, so right now, it's just high blood pressure.  That's pretty good news.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

32w6d Update

I just had a follow-up appointment with another doctor in my OB's practice so that I could turn in my 24-hour pee test and take a non-stress test (NST) for the babies.  In the office, my blood pressure was up.  Again.  I tried to tell them it was from me walking from my car while carrying a giant jug of pee (GJOP), but they weren't buying it.  I'm not kidding though, it was a big jug!  Regardless, I have to wait until tomorrow or Friday to get the results on the GJOP.

In the interim, I learned the following today:  (1) The babies looked good on the NST, and (2) the doctor estimated that I only have 2-3 weeks left before they'll make me deliver because of blood pressure issues.  The latter made me cry.  On the way home, I tried to figure out why that prognosis felt like she was saying that I only had 2-3 weeks to live; it's because if my children are born at 35 to 36 weeks, it is almost certain that I have 2-3 weeks before my children are taken away from me.  Yes, I understand that they would be going to the NICU, but the thought of not being able to hold them close -- or possibly having to leave the hospital without them -- is heartbreaking to me.  And before you tell me to keep it together because they will still likely be quite healthy at that age, millions of other women have survived this, and it would likely only be for a short time, let me remind you that I'm pregnant, which means I'm automatically allowed not to have some perspective!

Right now, I'm sad.

  

Pressure!

My blood pressure has crept up at various times throughout this pregnancy, so I'm on medication to control it.  We started at a low dose, and as needed, my doctor has upped the dosage.  Last week, we maxed out on the amount of medication I can take, and pursuant to my doctor's recommendation, I had my last day in the office (it's all working from home now).  Although my blood pressure stayed down for a few days, it started rising again, so much so that I thought on Monday I'd be sent to the hospital for bedrest.  Luckily, that didn't happen.  I go back to the OB today, where they'll continue monitoring me to make sure I'm not developing pre-eclampsia.

I'm so bummed about this situation.  I thought my biggest worry would be premature labor, as it is common when pregnant with multiples.  But instead, my babies might have to be born early without me ever going into labor, just because carrying them longer is too hard on my heart.  That doesn't seem right -- it will be a million times harder on my heart for these kids to be born so early that they'll have health problems and I won't be able to hold them and comfort them after their births.  I was such a protective hormonal wreck after Zachary was born that I bawled during his whole circumcision even though he was in a different room, and was again crying hysterically and having visions of slapping a nurse when she was getting a blood sample from him for a test; if they whisk these babies off to the NICU after they're born, god help us all...

These pictures don't have anything to do with anything, except that seeing cute pictures of my boys must lower my blood pressure!  And seeing this scene did make me smile over the weekend, so I'm posting them here.  Although you can't tell from his expression, Zachary loved driving the lawnmower!



Thursday, May 17, 2012

Parti and Parta's Visit

My mom and dad were here for a little over a week before the hectic birthday/graduation/Mother's Day weekend.  I always love when they visit, because I get to sleep.  Yeah, yeah, it's nice to see them too, but the sleep thing is awesome.  It's magical, really.  It works like this:  Zachary wakes up at...for lack of a better term...a FREAKIN' ridiculous hour.  I would go in, get to hear my son excitedly say, "Mama!!" (which is the best thing about having to get up at a FREAKIN' ridiculous hour), change a diaper, snuggle and read some books, and then on the way to my room to brush teeth, linger slightly too long in front of my mom's closed door so that my son will feel the need to knock and say "Want. To. See. Paaaaartiii!"  Then my mom gets sucked into the cuteness.  I back away slowly, and go back to bed. 

They've left us for now, but mom will be back in a couple of weeks to take care of me before the babies arrive.  So it's back to early mornings for me, except on the weekends, when The Husband gets sucked into the cuteness and guilt (earlier, he'd try to say something like, "I'm tired," but it was always beat out by "I'm pregnant with twins" -- now he just gets up).  

But I wanted to post some pictures from this last week, because Zachary had so much fun with them.
Even brushing teeth is more fun with Parti

Goofing around with Parta
I cannot tell you how many times I caught these two with Oreos
 And then there was learning how to "slam dunk!" from five-foot-nuthin'-brown people:



 And of course, Parti was always willing to share her computer:
Thank you for coming to see us, Parti and Parta!  We'll see you again soon!

Mother's Day (Another Belated Post)

There was so much going on this weekend with Zachary's birthday and The Husband's graduation, that I'm afraid that our mothers did not get the time and attention (and certainly not the gifts) that they deserved.  But there are some things that I wanted to say about them.

My mother is the most giving woman I've ever met.  If I ever need anything, my mom will always be here for me.  She and my dad have driven 18 hours from Iowa just to babysit Zachary when I've needed her to.  Repeatedly.  She's the one I want nearby in an emergency.  She'll make me curtains, throw pillows, and gorgeous flower arrangements.  When I go to work, she manages to find a way to play all day with Zachary, clean my entire house, and have dinner ready when I come home.  There are several things, however, that this woman can't do:  (1) she can't accept a compliment; (2) she can't comprehend the value of a good cheese; (3) she cannot go more than a couple of days without saying at least a few things that make me go: "Wha???" (you know what I mean, mom); (4) she can't stop feeding my children Oreos or say "no" to Zachary when he wants to use her computer; and (5) she can't be bothered to take the time to do things just for herself.  If I could give her anything, it would be the confidence and happiness from really realizing how lucky we are to have her, and how incredibly fortunate my kids are to have her for a grandmother.

My other mother (The Husband's mother) is the kind of mother I want to be.  She's an incredibly hard worker, but is always there for her kids.  She's the kind of person you want to tell your troubles to (and everyone does -- she always knows what's going on with everyone in the family!).  She makes batches and batches of cookies at Christmas.  She has this sweet, easy laugh that she passed on to The Husband, and I hope it gets passed on to my kids as well.  She's up for new things, and you can pretty much count on her to enjoy the experience.  But mostly, I want to be like her because she raised my husband to be the kind of guy who will spend two weekends and countless hours looking for and then fixing a car for his sister, opens doors for people, offers to help people with flat tires or otherwise broken cars, buys me flowers, volunteers to coach his son's football teams, and is loyal and generous.  That's because of an awesome mom! 

Happy belated Mother's Day, moms!  Thank you for all that you do.  We love you!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Graduation Day

On Sunday, The Husband went through his commencement ceremony to receive his MBA.

I am so proud of him, I can't even begin to tell you how much.  He did this while working full time, and while still making time to be with our family.  So often he would come home from work at 6 pm or later, eat dinner and hang out with us for an hour or two, and then start studying around the time we were going to bed.  He sacrificed a lot of sleep and a lot of beautiful weekends.  And in the end, he earned an overall 3.71 grade point average.  What an awesome example for our kids.


I love you, Husband.  Congratulations!!


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Zachary's Second Birthday!!


As the day came closer, I felt more and more guilty that I hadn't planned anything.  But I had been certain that I would be on bedrest, and I didn't want to plan a party that The Husband would have to attempt to execute.  So, for Zachary's second birthday, there was a little bit of spontaneity and a lack of other two year olds.  It turned out to be a big success. 

Look, what is that, Zachary?
Yep, you're right: It's a bouncy house!  Nevermind that you're not having a party with your little friends, and nevermind that there are no (sane and supervised) children in the neighborhood or that Kayla won't be here until this has to leave, but mama got a good deal, and she's a little crazy.  And there's a slide!  What more could you want on your birthday??
(Zachary says, "New Slide!!!!!")

There was also lots more outdoor fun with a new t-ball set:

a new basketball hoop:
 lacrosse:
 and the ever-so-famous lacrossketball:
There were presents, a cookout, and cake.  Present were some of Zachary's favorite people: Roar, Parti, Parta, Nonna, Aunt Sarah, Kayla, and Miss Cindy.



We could've gotten away with just buying him this wrapping paper -- he loved that there were bulldozers on it!




















Overall, it was a great day.  Happy second birthday, my sweet baby boy!

(Two-year-old stats:  27 lbs, 34.5 inches, and talking, talking, talking -- he can say almost anything he wants now, but the quirkiest is "me too" which comes out as "I do me.")

Thursday, May 10, 2012

On Having a Daughter

My feelings about having a daughter basically can be summed up in one word:  "Ack!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited and happy to have her.  I'm especially excited that my household will soon have one more person who is capable of peeing inside, rather than around, a toilet.  But I feel woefully unprepared to parent her.

I think it's because I was never a girly-girl.  I grew up with two older brothers and a mother who was not into fashion or make up.  I didn't enjoy playing with dolls, but had great fun flying kites, and playing "Alligator Pit" and "Cowboys and Indians" with the boys down the street (this despite the fact that I was always pegged to be the Indian -- rude!).  As I got older, I always had one or two very good girl friends, but I felt most comfortable around boys, and even had my first crush on a boy named Dylan when I was in kindergarten.


What if my daughter is a princess??  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I've had near anxiety attacks when trying to shop for clothes for my daughter, and unless something changes soon, the poor girl is going to be diaper-clad or nekked until she can pick out her own clothes.  Girl clothes are so...frilly...and froo froo...and time consuming...and uncomfortable looking that I start shopping and then end up buying a t-shirt for Zachary.  And what about the drama?  Or is that just a sexist thought?  Because both of my boys (heck, all three of my boys, The Husband included) can bring on the drama -- could there be even more drama than that?

But much worse than the possibility of a naked child, or one who actually likes that evil Barbie, or tantrums over nothing (because really, I'm used to that by now) is the thought that karma will come and kick me in the butt when she turns into a teenager.  This, my friends, keeps me up at night.  (If my kids are reading this, mommy is only concerned about karma because there was that one time when I was a teenager when I didn't try my best and ended up with a "B" in a class.)  What if she starts liking boys early?  Like, before she's 30?  It doesn't help that she's most certainly destined to be a gorgeous teen, like the brown/white daughters of my sweet friend Robin:

Robin, you say you haven't aged well -- if that's true, THIS is probably why.
There's so much I want for my girl.  I want her to play football AND be the cheerleader.  I want her to be confident but not arrogant.  I want her not to be afraid to show off her brilliance, without "showing off" her brillance.  I want her to have friends, but never feel the need to give into peer pressure.  I want her to be motivated to succeed but willing to be silly.  I want her to be kind and giving and loving and tolerant.  I want her to respect her body.  These are things I want for all of my children; so why do I feel so much more pressure with her than with the boys to make that happen??

Monday, May 7, 2012

It's About That Time (But Not Really)

About a month ago, I noticed that the two men who hand out newspapers at the Metro went from calling me "Gorgeous" to calling me "Mama."

This morning it changed to:  "Good Lord, Mama!"

Just under two months to go... *sigh*

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Found!


        


Oh ankles, how I missed you.

(And yes, those are leopard-print slippers.  I don't want to hear it.)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

In Other News

First, The Husband's sister, Sarah, and our niece, Kayla, visited this weekend.  They live in New York, and we don't get to see them nearly often enough.  Zachary is so much more verbal than when they last visited, and he made it absolutely clear that he adores his cousin "Kay-ya."

Showing Aunt Sarah the "strawbabies" in the garden
Kayla was so sweet and patient with Zachary!


It was even fun just sitting around and watching tv.  Looking forward to the next visit!
Second, Zachary got funky with Roar's sunglasses (and we found out that Zachary enjoys being shirtless almost as much as he enjoys being not wearing pants):



And in baby news, I had an ultrasound yesterday at 29 weeks, 5 days.  Our son is measuring in the 45th percentile, and our daughter is in the 32nd.  Both have a little excess amniotic fluid on them, which led the perinatologist to not-so-tactfully voice his suspicions that I have gestational diabetes, despite the fact that I recently passed -- albeit just barely -- the one-hour glucose tolerance test.  I won't lie, I freaked out just a little, but mostly because the peri lacked any kind of bedside manner, and would not tell me how my children were being affected by excess fluid.  But I spoke to my OB (and might've used some inappropriate language to describe the peri), but he is not concerned with the results, and is happy with the babies' growth.  He told me that he'd tell me when to worry, and now is not the time.  I found that comforting.

Lastly, an urgent plea to my ankles:  Please come back.  It's only now that these imposter "cankles" have taken your place do I realize that I never fully appreciated you.  I won't make that mistake again.  Give me another chance.  xoxox

So You Say It's My Birthday...

Thirty seven.  There's something a little...oh...I don't know...old about that number.  It probably doesn't help that with all of this weight, within the last week it's become difficult and time consuming to move.  When I do actually move around, and especially up stairs, I suck wind.  When I'm sitting still, I'm achy.  And some time while I was sleeping last night, I lost my ankles.  So I FEEL old, and look...stuffed.  (I really considered posting a picture here that the Husband took this morning to show you the "stuffed" look, but it turns out that I do have a little bit of vanity left.  I just can't do it.)

Regardless, I'm going to have a good birthday.  There will be cake and fish tacos, and I'll get flowers.  I'll be around people I love to death.  Everyone in my family -- including the immediate family that I was born into and the one I married into -- are healthy.  My babies are growing (3 lbs, and 3 lbs 4 oz, respectively, as of yesterday).  And even though things are getting more difficult, I'm still not on bedrest.  For these things, I am grateful, and looking forward, I know this is going to be a hell of a year!